Climbing the Mountain

Hey Blog 2,


I know it's been awhile, and yesterday I ran a pretty big Race known as the Human Race. I ran the 10k and came in at Twenty-One out of twenty-two in my age group of 20-29. My time, was 1:01:58. As you can see below, later on another champion was added below me. I think we did great, considering only twenty-two out of our age group came in to actually do the race. That's what matters. To all of those people that ran that race, all of them are champions. Heroes that don't even know it. (Also, to those people pushing their kids in strollers... you are a huge inspiration.)

Anyway, it was great. I loved every moment of it, even though it hurt a lot. It felt wrong stopping three times during the race to take a twenty-pace walk. It felt wrong because it made me come to a lot of realizations in that race and where I've been sitting for the past year or so.

After the race, I felt liberated. I felt so unstoppable, even though I knew I could have possibly gone longer. I could have not stopped and maybe placed higher. Even though I ran it alone and didn't have anyone there to cheer for me, I never felt alone. But none of the speed mattered to me in the end, because during the race all I could think of was... "I can breath. You can slow down, but you cannot stop. If you can breath, you can win."

I realized how far I had come in all of my climb up this mountain. I've realized how far I have managed to bring myself up from what I considered to be a very deep pit of my life. A time where I regretted waking up every morning and looking in the mirror knowing the body I was living in was so incapable. All of my life, I lived wanting to be the best for the people I cared about. But I knew the life I lived, the body I carried, and more importantly how much that affected my confidence.

Anyway, that's all stuff I've talked about before. You saw it in the last post, which I know was a ways back but I'd like you to know that I hadn't gone backwards in the time frame between then and now. Actually, I've managed to do pretty well for myself. For the past year, just about, I've been sticking to my weight of about 175~180. I'm impressed that my body allowed for this, although that doesn't mean this is over at all.

This simply means, the stakes are higher.

The mountain is bigger. The climb will be harder. The results will be better.

One 10k Race doesn't mean I've accomplished my goals. It simply means I'm showing results. This is a minor step in the road to what I'm shooting for, gunning for one-sixty has never been more alive.

So what's next really?

Well, dropping fifteen~twenty more pounds. Why? Well, to reach the end goal for the most part, which is to drop down to one-sixty. I know I said I'd do that in that year in 2011, but that was a failure I'm prepared to take.

Would I stay there at one-sixty? No, in truth I would tone from there and probably build muscle. Or at least, that is the plan. But I still want to maintain endurance, strength, and agility. I want to run further and maybe even faster. I want to swim more, and ride a bicycle more. There's still a lot about my body and health that needs refinement and I plan on getting there. This has always been the plan, and we've gone over this all before but this is just a proclamation that this can happen and will happen within the next year or so.

What do I need to do now?

Well, I need to push harder. I have worked hard for the past two years or so to be where I am now. But I'm still lacking. I need to improve my diet more, again. I need to push myself further than before and work harder with less.

Do I plan on doing it alone?

Well, no. I've had a lot of people inspiring me throughout the way. Although I don't have them much now, I know I can still count on them if I reach out. I know there are people around me who will read this. I'm there for you. A burden shared, is a burden halved. A victory shared, is a victory doubled. I think I want to start doing some nutritional stuff on here as well. Although I'm not the best at it, but I try!

Lets keep fighting, okay?

Something to remember, and don't let me forget:

"It's not about being better than the next guy or the last guy. It's about being better than you were the day before."

See you soon Blog 2.

P.S.

I'll try and post more often. Sorry, I've been a little busy.

Gunning for One-Sixty.

This was me, before I graduated High School. Cool shades huh? Yeah, I lost those... and in the next like... five years, I'd lose five other pairs of sunglasses.

In High School, I spent a lot of time looking around me and being disappointed. Not in the world around me , or the people per-say. I was disappointed in me, how I looked to the world around me. My self-esteem was not high, although I did seem like it. My confidence in myself was so buried in the ground that I thought I would never find it. At this time in my life though, I was wanting... wanting so much out of myself but not being able to provide it. I was wanting so much, but giving so much to others around me but wondering why I still felt so bad.

Everyday, looking in the mirror, it was hard to accept who I was.

I had a hard time doing just about anything, from walking long distances to even running. The fastest mile I had done in High School was only a success because I blacked out and didn't really have any control of what my body was doing. I didn't necessarily feel like a failure, but I didn't feel healthy and I felt limited. Although I seemed happy, back then, and seemed like I had things going for me... I really wasn't. I was disappointed in myself... not because I was overweight, but because I was so held back by my body and my health.

I fluctuated in weight between 270 to 250 for the next two or three years coming out of High School. I was painfully aware of my limitations, painfully aware of how I was viewed by others, and painfully aware of how I viewed myself. I wanted to change, and did some things, but never dedicated myself truly to the cause.

I was not confident, I was not motivated, and I had no self-esteem to speak of. 

This was me, New Years Day... 2011. I weighed 270 Pounds.

In the start of 2011, I made a resolution that I wanted to lose eighty pounds. At this time, I was still pretty miserable, and with a girl who got the brunt of that misery for almost four years. With that in mind, she left me, and honestly it was probably for the best for both of us. As much as I had loved her, and thought I did truly. I didn't realize how much I wasn't capable of loving someone to the fullest without being able to love myself in some way. Incidentally, I didn't love myself at all... in fact, I hated myself the most out everyone on the planet. I don't really hate people, but I was my worst enemy, and at the top of the list of people I wanted to not have apart of my life. It's very hard to not have yourself in your life apparently.


I was miserable in January 2011. My heart was broken, and at the time I thought I felt resolve, but in reality... I was so detached that I didn't really understand how pathetic I looked and felt. Until I started walking, walking a lot. I left my dorm and walked, to clear my head. Routinely, I started doing that, realizing that even walking... I felt winded going less than a mile. Not only was my heart broken, but my lungs burned and I was not happy knowing that I wasn't even capable of doing something so simple.

So, I started walking more. After a week or so, I would start seeding jogs into my walks and it hurt. It hurt so bad, that I wasn't sure if I could keep going. I wanted to stop, and I didn't want it to hurt. But I didn't stop, and I kept hurting all the way into February. Not only did I feel enlightened, that I would be okay, but I knew I had something to accomplish. I changed my diet to involve more protein, and instead of doing walks every other day, I jogged everyday a mile. I felt more motivated than ever to change...

One morning, I woke up, and I just started jogging. I didn't stop jogging, until my legs had almost gave out from underneath me. My lungs didn't burn like mad, and my heart pumped like it was just as ready to change as I was in my head. That day, I had gone ten miles... non-stop.

This was me several weeks into moving from walking distances to running. I weighed maybe 255 pounds. At this point, I was able to jog distances instead of just walk. I was also bicycle riding up to ten miles whenever possible. This was March, 2011

The days following that, I started jogging upwards of two to four miles every day except weekends. I was also bicycle riding everywhere I could, whenever I could. I didn't feel the constraints of asthma like I had weeks before. It was now into March, and I was already someone completely different. In the span of about four weeks, I had lost about twenty pounds just by changing my diet and getting up and going outside. I also started drinking a lot of water, I needed it.

At this time, I started running, bicycle riding, and even doing other workouts. I told myself that I wanted to do triathlons in New Zealand. I still want to, that has yet to change.

This was me like a week later from the above picture. I started doing a circuit workout called "Spartacus" it was harsh, and at this point, I no longer had asthma and started running longer distances. This was also in March 2011

In the middle of March, I started doing what was called "Spartacus Workout", in light of seeing this really awesome show on Starz with Andy Whitfield. It's kind of silly to say, but he was my hero and I wanted to look pretty freakin' manly like him. It propelled me further doing this workout, and I had never sweat so much in my entire life. I could run longer distances, I could bicycle ride, and I did it all without stopping. I was changing fast, and was feeling stronger than I had ever before.

I was stronger, I was faster than ever before, and more over... I was actually really happy with myself. For the first time.

Me in April of 2011 with my younger sister who obviously got the better genes.

In the months following, I continued to run and bicycle ride. At that point, I was doing workouts two or three times a day. Between running, bicycle riding, and doing the Spartacus Workout. Granted, it was all rather un-organized but I tried my hardest to do everything I could to tire myself out during the day. I changed how I viewed what I did in the day and everything seemed to work around me getting exercise.

I also had a totally intense diet of eating something in the morning like a granola bar, yogurt, and a banana to fuel myself to do a six-mile run. For lunch, I'd eat a sandwich that had a lean meat, cheddar cheese, and leafy greens. For dinner, I'd have grilled chicken on rice with steamed vegetables and a salad. When I went home on weekends, I'd eat Oatmeal for breakfast whenever I could. As much as I wanted to do the same at the dorms, it... had it's own limitations but I worked around it. Everyday, I'd drink a gallon of water and balance it out with electrolytes, usually from Gatorade (yeah I know... sports drinks are crap but I took what I could).

The months following, I would slowly change.

Me in July 2011, yes, I was wearing armor, and I was LARPing in Santa Cruz. I'm a huge nerd.

July of 2011 came along and I was a down to about... 220lbs? I was active, yeah, and I had reached a few plateaus and a few moments where I stopped jogging sometimes. But I never truly stopped doing what I needed to do. After the first weekend of July, I literally dropped ten pounds in a week or so bringing me down to the lowest weight I'd ever been from whenever I could remember. I had never felt so good to be who I was, and had never felt so accomplished.

Not only was I a lot more confident in myself, but I had a self-esteem. I was happy with myself, and happy with how things were going. At this point, I was shaky in what I was doing, and wasn't as dedicated despite having come so far. Somewhere in the few months following, I would let myself go a bit. I didn't gain weight, but I didn't continue working as hard.

But around September I was working harder on gaining muscle and toning rather than just cutting fat and weight. I was happy that I was losing weight, not happy that I still had this crazy loose skin thing going on. But it was something I had to accept... after all, I did pull a crazy move by dropping so much weight so fast.

Me with my mentor(right) and friend(left) after Insanity. October of 2011.

This is my mentor, who helped me to work harder and supported me a long ways. This was like... one in the morning after Insanity. This was the last day of October in 2011 after I graduated. I had gained muscle and weighed 210 still.

In September, I decided I wouldn't cut my hair or shave till I had reached my goal weight...

In October of 2011, I had graduated College with a Bachelor's Degree in Games and Simulation Programming. I was now 210, but had more muscle than ever before and a lot less fat. At this point, I was jogging six-miles and eight-miles on Fridays. I was also working out about three times a day on a more consistent level. Which included, the run in the morning, doing core exercises in the mid-day, and then doing a circuit exercise at night. In October it was doing Insanity, when it wasn't Insanity it was doing Spartacus. If it wasn't Spartacus, it was lifting weights. I wanted to gain muscle and become stronger, not just faster and enduring like I was.

I owed a lot of success to many of my friends, who I started gaining enough confidence enough in myself to workout with them. Which included my Mentor, shown above, and a few of my other friends who helped me struggle forward.

Me at the start of the year. January 2012, yeah... not a very good display of how much I had changed . At least my humor never did. I weighed about 200 pounds at this point.

It was the turn of the year and I was now 200 pounds. The lowest ever, and I was looking for work. I let myself go a bit. At this point I was unemployed, had a ton of free time, really long hair (I was wearing a ponytail in the picture above), but I had actually shaved by now. But I was still doing what I could whenever I felt like I could. Granted, it wasn't as intensive, it was winter and the weather was often crap. If it wasn't crap, I was doing things. I made excuses a lot, and at this point my weight started to fluctuate, mainly because I was at home and my diet suffered.

Me in March of 2012 with my older sister Adriana. She too had gone through a lot of changes. We both did, and that is what made it possible for us to be in a picture together. To-hohoho! I had started doing more toning at this point, and weighed about 195.

Despite it, I tried to keep up with myself, realizing sometimes that I had a goal to reach. I didn't lose eighty-pounds in a year but I still had lost a ton of weight in that time. In March of 2012, I weighed 195lb and had gone past the 200lb mark. I was happy, I was confident, and I looked in the mirror in the morning and smiled instead of cringing or... crying manly bitch tears to myself.

I was still working to tone, and change. But I was at a plateau and not sure how to get further than I was. I wasn't working hard enough, and I knew this, but I wanted to keep going. But I'd go back and forth here, between doing exercise sometimes, and not doing it. Eating okay, and not.

It's now June of 2012, and I weigh 185lbs. No, I don't have a six-pack, and I'm still working on my mid-section. I'm confident enough to take my shirt off at the river which I had done the other day. I'm happy with myself and how I look but I mean... I still want to change. I can run long distances, I can bicycle ride even longer distances, and I can swim against river currents (although I don't recommend it, it's very hard, okay... yeah I do). I'm currently working with a lot of people to reach success on a professional level, and things are the best they've ever been in my life.

I met this pretty lady, who has... kind of affected me and how I eat and look at food. I've always approached food in a very particular way but now I'm not really held back by some sort of picky behavior. "I eat things" I tell her, because I'm not picky about what I'm willing to eat. Eating vegetables, being able to cook for myself that is balanced, colorful, and very delicious.

I'm still working towards going down to 160lbs, and I'm working more towards toning at this point than anything but trying to keep my endurance. I've still got a bit of work ahead of me, but the reason I'm posting this now... is to show how far I've come in such a time frame. In a year, I had lost about seventy-pounds, in a year and a half I had lost eighty-pounds.

I made this blog so that I could show people first hand what is capable of being accomplished. Defeating asthma, a bad diet, and becoming more healthy are all things that are within reach but no one every gets up to do it. Motivation is a huge factor, setting small goals to reach bigger ones. Getting yourself to know that when you accomplish many small things, you get to a point where you know you can accomplish anything you set yourself to.

   The only thing that ever stopped me, was myself. I waged war on myself, and have the scars to prove it.

I dropped off the map for awhile there, but it wasn't that I stopped wanting to post or I stopped on my quest. I just got so into it, I forgot to record it. Well, I'm doing it all now! It's not over though, so stay tuned I guess.

I want to thank everyone that was there with me through the whole way so far. Who supported me, and believed in me. I would have stopped long ago if it weren't for you being there for me. I love you all!

Runner's High and Loose Skin.

Hey Blog2,

So anyway, I've been doing my jogs very consistently lately. Been getting six mile jogs in everyday and an eight in on fridays (which I'm going to be increasing next week). Except I don't run on Saturdays, or on Sundays. I've also been keeping up with my weight training, core strengthening, and in doing Spartacus. Although, Spartacus has been kind of suffering lately due to time frames and stuff. But, I'm still on the wagon and it's helping a lot to tone.

So, today I had the coolest feeling while I was running. I've felt this before, but never as cool feeling as I did today. I was running, and suddenly I got this rush and I felt like I could run forever. It was really cool, my body was feeling great, my legs felt light and I was ready to keep running on and on. I thought it felt really cool, and I'm starting to look forward to all of my runs now instead. If I don't get a run in, I feel distraught and depressed. I think they're the real binding factor when it comes to my exercise right now.

In my honest opinion, I feel like I could just do running. But, I know that I need strength, so myself and my good friend Scotsman (I'm going to call him that for now) have been lifting weights every tuesday and thursday. I can say that without his help, I'd be nowhere in terms of my lifting. He has been my spotter and helped me push beyond my limits, which has left me getting stronger and more tone. I've got pecs! WHAT?!

Feelsgoodman.jpg.

I really do appreciate all of the help he's give me. I'm glad he's jumping onto the wagon with me and we're on kind of a path to become champs. He's already really buff though, he is just reclaiming his former glory is what I call it. It is really cool to not have to go at it alone either.

-------------------------------

So, in the title, I put loose skin, which is gross. Yeah, that's my problem right now as things stand. You see, I've been chubby my entire life, and so... when I lost sixty pounds over the last six to eight months all of that skin had to go somewhere. Well, it didn't go anywhere really... it kind of just stuck around. Since my body isn't really attuned to me being fit... it let all that skin kind of just chill there. So now it's all stupid and flab like... it's kind of gross when you think about it... and depict it in the way I did.

For the longest time, I thought it was fat, and then Scotsman pointed out to me that it was actually loose skin just sitting there. I was super disappointed... and distraught. Well, I do have a new found idea though, that I can get rid of it with hard work. Scotsman pointed out that it would take me about four months, but I decided I want to try and do it in two and a half. I even decided that for that time, I wont cut my hair, or shave till then (though... I think I'll probably cave and shave at least... it's really annoying). What I mean is, I wont cut my hair till I get tone in the mid-rif at least.

I do want to just tone all around though, but I really just want to get rid of the loose skin. It's gross... and I've got a lot of muscle and tone already built up from months of doing crunches and stuff. It's just taking a lot of time for my body to get use to not being... well... fat! Ha.

All in all, I just need time to get rid of this stuff. I'll get there eventually, I'm happy I'm more fit and healthier and stuff. In time, I'll be lookin' like Jason Momoa or Andy Whitfield (RIP Hero...).

So anyway, just thought I'd update you a bit Blog2 on what's going on. Grah! The road to become a champion is long and arduous! But feels good everyday!

Take it easy blog2.

Back on board.

Hey Blog 2,

So, I know it's been awhile since I've last updated. I've been a little busy with stuff, Senior Project, juggling life. Things like that, which have kept me from really coming around and updating how things are going. I should say that I went you before I went to blog 2, just thought I'd let you know. But that in no way means you're more special, you're probably just more interesting to visit than Blog for others.

So at any rate, I've gotten back on the wagon for working out. I've come down to about 200 pounds while I've been gone from you Blog 2. Which, I can blame LARP for that because it provides a really good cardio workout for an entire weekend. I've also been doing push-ups, pull-ups, and elevated crunches in the morning, day, and night. This has built quite a bit of muscle tone in my shoulders and chest. I've got PECKS! WHOA!

So at any rate, I've started Spartacus again. A friend of mine rekindled my need to get buff and look amazing. I'm on the road to victory, still, it's not like I've stopped. In fact, I just got back from my "In-between Spartacus Lifting/Cardio" workout. I know it's really late, and I should have done it earlier in the day... I like lifting at night because no one is around. So anyway, I'm still doing it.

But I took notice when I was finished, that I've still got a long way to go. I mean, I've lost about 50~60 pounds already, but I still look nowhere near where I can potentially be. There's still a lot of body fat there, and I need to work on getting rid of it with some serious fat burn.

I've got more protein, which is amazing, because that allows me to really do what I need to do. I'm working on a new system that is a little different from before, but not too far off. I'm going to start lifting, yes, lifting. Don't get me wrong though, I'm still going to be doing a lot of fat burning cardio. Here, let me break it down:

Monday:

Morning:

Six Mile Jog

Evening:

Spartacus Workout

Tuesday:

Morning:

Six Mile Jog

Evening:

Lifting

Jump Rope

Wednesday:

Morning:

Six Mile Jog

Evening:

Spartacus

Thursday:

Morning:

Six Mile Jog (Hopefully, these days are weird)

Evening:

Lifting

Jump Rope

Friday:

Morning:

Eight Mile Jog

Evening:

Spartacus

-----------------------------------

So at any rate, on certain weekends, I'll be doing LARP as well. This should give me pretty good cardio on weekends, which are usually down time. It's going to be tough, but it should be awesome. They provide a lot of movement, and I sweat basically the entire weekend when I go out and do it. So it should help a lot.

Well, I'll update you soon Blog 2, I know I've said that in the past, but I'm for reals this time.

Oh, and a final note...

Bestie (I'm going to call her that for now), thinks I can't get an butt like Jason Momoa, so I'm going to try and prove her wrong. I've got a long way to go... my butt is nothing to brag about right now...

Wish me luck Blog 2!

I've done bad...

Hey Blog 2!

Uhm... I've been avoiding you lately. Not like I've been avoiding Blog, but... in another reason. Well, frankly, I've not been doing very good about keeping up with my exercises. I've been doing horrible, seriously... I'm ashamed of myself in that regard.

But I've been super busy with trying to maintain school, and my sanity... which I know sounds like an excuse, but it's really been that way. I know, I'm sorry...

The good news is, I'm going to hit it again real soon and hit it hard. I'm still eating well for the most part and still losing weight. I'm coming down to be 220, and when I hit the workouts again, that number will be SHREDDING.

So, just thought I'd update you there Blog 2... I've been doing so bad, but now that I've got some scope, I'm going to be hitting it hard again. Lets make this happen all right?

Well, I've got to get some rest, I'll be posting to you real soon Blog 2.

Later!

Slowly but surely.

Hey Blog 2!

Sorry for the neglect, I've been doing my job lately, just not very well. I can say that due to certain circumstances, I haven't been doing my jogs. However, I've been doing my Spartacus work-out stuff on a consistent basis. This is going to change though, I've just been up to a lot lately and it's been keeping me from getting really down to doing my jogs and core training... totally sucks butt!

But, I'm stepping up my jogs to six throughout the week, and eight on Fridays. This will give my body something to push forward for, as I feel like I need to get stronger if I plan on doing any marathon running at all. But also, I feel like my metabolism needs more of a boost, and the Spartacus alone doesn't do enough justice for my body. However, I've been doing a lot of upper body work and growing more muscle on my arms. This building of muscle has helped a lot and there's a noticeable change in how much leaner I'm looking.

What's totally unfortunate, is the fact that I'm running out of Protein Supplement. This totally sucks! Those things aren't really that cheap either, but I'll figure something out I guess. I'm really looking forward to the increase run distance, it's going to feel awesome. It's been awhile yeah, but I'm ready for this!

I definitely know that having consistent runs and Spartacus together gives a really good outcome, so I'm looking forward to getting back into the swing of things. My deadline is not getting any further away, and I'm at a steady pace. So lets keep this going!

See you later Blog 2.

Spartacus Workout: Day One

Hey Blog!

So, this is a picture of me after I've finished off doing the first day of the Spartacus Workout. Lets just say, it was really tough, but it felt awesome! Seriously, it was the most I've ever sweat in my life and it was incredible. You can't tell with the shirt I'm wearing, but it was soaked, I know that's totally nasty... but it was actually a lot more fulfilling than it seems.

The workout itself is pretty intense, and it doesn't seem to stop. I took it kind of slow this time around, and went on something with it that my friend's mother told me earlier today:

"It's a marathon, not a sprint."

So, I kept it up on a slower pace rather than trying to go for a crap ton. I think I did it just about right, although I'm finding that my right knee is really giving me trouble and it's holding me back a bit. I don't know what's up with it, but it aches a bit every time I need to support my weight with it. I think I need to go get it checked, which I'll probably be doing pretty soon just to figure it out. It's irking me because it is making it tough to do some of the workouts I need to do.

I'll post some of the workouts I did probably tomorrow blog, I'm really tired after all that so I'm going to take off.

This is only day one of many Blog! Wish me luck!